Less and Less

Clearly, I have trouble maintaining a blog, but I think I need to make some updates to get myself back on track with some stuff. So let's just do a catch-up post from the August update so that I can start moving forward again. These updates will be in no particular order either (just so you know.)

1. St. Baldrick's 2011 - This has become something that I have started looking forward to every year. It is a great cause (raising money for pediatric cancer research) and generally a pretty fun day. I was a little nervous this year that it wouldn't be as enjoyable because I was going to be emceeing at a different location than normal. Instead of being at the Hibernian like year's past, I was at Napper Tandy's. I have to say, all of my worrying for was for naught. I, personally, raised over $500 and got a spiffy haircut in the process. I was going to just post a straight picture of bald me, but I thought I would post it along with a picture from last years event. I think it shows some of the weight I have lost. Anyway, you can check it out below. (We'll talk more about weight loss in a bit.)

2. Work - Things seem to be going well. I actually changed jobs back in August and have really loved the move that I made. It is doing more web based work and I have been happy to get back to that. The main thing going on in this area right now is that I have an interview next week for a manager position. I am definitely interested in the role, but I must admit that I am starting to question if I am truly qualified for it. Actually, scratch that, I know I am qualified for it, what I am concerned about is whether I am "corporate" enough for the role. I think I would be a great people manager, however, I have never been one to spend a lot of energy worrying about learning a lot of the business jargon that seems to be used a lot these days. "Veritcals", "routes", and other tearms that I understand, but worry about my ability to competently discuss with someone that DOES use these terms a lot. Maybe I am just to normal or something. Either way, I will find out more next week when I have the interview. I will update then.

3. Weight Loss - And here it is. My weightloss journey was pretty much the impetus for starting this blog and updating it (or at least THINKING about updating it) was something that helped me process the things that I was dealing with on a daily basis. In the last six months there have been ups and downs with the dieting and I feel like I need to start talking things out again to get myself back on track.

As of today, I am down 110 lbs. from my highest weight, however, I am up about 20 lbs. from my lowest. So as you can guess, things have been sort of "not good" on with the diet as of late. Actually, things were good up until about Thanksgiving. I feel like that is where things took a turn. Not to make excuses (but that is what I am going to do) but there were so many things that conspired against me from then to now. Christmas, Thanksgiving, a trip to Las Vegas, my dad being in the hospital and any number of other things that affected my desire to stay on my eating plan. At one point, I was down to 289.8 lbs. Needless to say, that was crazy awesome and to start putting weight back on is bad times. I know what the problem is, too: fast food. For some reason, I have started eating out again for almost every meal and that has become my downfall. Why exactly I have done this is beyond me outside of convenience and laziness. Who am I kidding, it is totally laziness. And I need to stop it now. I guess I am hoping that this blog will help me get back into the swing of things because it is forcing me to "say things out loud" and that usually works for me. I feel like I have taken some positive steps. I started working with a really great trainer a couple of weeks ago and that is going really well. I can actually tell that I am getting a little stronger. I feel like that is going to be a good working relationship for me and will be something that continues to move me in a good direction.

So here is my plan:

Continue working with my trainer once a week to learn how to properly use the gym.
Actually GO to the gym other times during the week. I plan to start this on Thursday of this week.
Start cooking all of my meals again (or at the very least the vast majority of my meals.) Really, to be even more specific, NO MORE FAST FOOD!!
Start running again. The time changes next weekend which means it will be lighter longer and it is warming up a little so it won't be so miserable to be out later in the evening, which is when I am able to go to the track.

The cool thing about all of this is that I know I can do this because I have totally done it already for the last year. I will lose the weight that I have put back on and will continue on towards my ultimate goal. I am going to make a concerted effort to update this blog at least once a week. In fact, I just set myself a calendar reminder for myself. Let's hope I stick to it.

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While digging through some CD's...

Tue, 03 Aug 2010 20:30:27 -0700

breaks_1103.mp3 Listen on Posterous

It seems like a million years ago that I was doing CHR (Top 40) radio. I have to admit though, I really did enjoy it back in the day. It was exciting and new and fun and, well, just a really kick ass way to spend some time.

So anyway, I was going through some unlabeled CDs last night and I stumbled on this jem. It is an aircheck of me on G105 from November 2003. I sound totally different here than I do on 96 Rock. (At least I hope I do!) And yes, I realize how pukey (radio lingo!) I sound. Either way, was fun to listen to. Please enjoy and criticize all you want.

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I look like a weird cop

Sat, 03 Jul 2010 18:29:33 -0700

I actually like the way these glasses look on me.

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The scars of a novice chef.

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 20:29:53 -0700

This is what happens when someone that doesn't cook very much combines a need to eat at home with too many episodes of Iron Chef. Stupid hot oven.

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Seven weeks ago

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 20:16:00 -0700

I read an article today warning people about going to Tijuana for bariatric surgery. The gist of the article was that "you get what you pay for" and "American doctors are better" and "don't be stupid and go to Mexico" and several other extremist/ill-informed comments. It was the type of article that if read by someone on the fence about having surgery could be the thing that turns them off. This really bummed me out because seven weeks I went to Mexico and had bariatric surgery and it has been the absolute best decision I have ever made.

Seven weeks ago, I weighed 394 lbs, wore size 56 pants, 4x/5x shirts, sweated almost constantly unless I was perfectly still, ate an obscene amount of food, never exercised and generally felt like crap all the time.

Seven weeks ago, I got on a plane and flew over 3000 miles to another country to let a surgeon cut into me with absolutely no fear whatsoever.

Seven weeks ago, I was privileged to be cared for by a staff that was courteous, friendly, and as thorough as any medical staff I have EVER dealt with in the United States.

Seven weeks ago, I changed my life.

So where am I seven weeks later? As of this morning, I weighed 338.8 lbs, a loss of 55.2 lbs! I am down to a 48 pants size and 3x shirts. I exercise almost every day and have even started running(!). I eat probably half a cup of food for each meal and am getting probably less than a sixth of the calories I used to eat (and it is all fresh, home cooked food, no take out/fast food.) I feel better than I have in YEARS.

And it is all going to keep improving. That is the crazy thing. As good as I feel right now, I know that I will feel even better in seven more weeks. I will get to my goal and I will live a life that I have never actually known. It's intoxicating to even consider.

I wish that I could talk to the person that reads that article and decides against going ahead with Lap Band or something else and tell them not to believe everything they read. Research your doctor regardless of where they are because that good reputation is something that CAN exist across the border. It is possible to go to Tijuana and come away changed for the better.

I am living proof.

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Flavor and the rediscovery thereof

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 20:15:00 -0700

I started solids this past weekend and so far, so good! I have no experienced any PB'ing as yet and have been feeling full on very small portions. And the scale has backed this up as I have been able to lose close to 5 lbs. so far this week. So all in all, the transition to solids has been successful.

But let me tell you what has been the most exciting thing I have discovered since moving to solids: flavors. It has been astounding the things I have been able to taste. I think there are two reasons for this rebirth of flavor in my life.

One, having been on a three week liquid diet (with only a week's worth of creamy soups at that) I think damn near anything would have tasted good. Let's not kid ourselves and pretend that a bowl of broth sets our mouth's ablaze. That three week food vacation seems to have "reset" my taste buds to some degree. Even things that I am very familiar with somehow have a stronger taste than before, which I guess could be mental, but still!

Two, it occurred to me that my previous diet was very, very, very stale. I was living off of a mixture of pizza, burgers and subs. That is all I ever ate. And there is only so much flavor available from fast food/delivery places. Not only did this diet contribute directly to my weight problem, but it seems like it killed my ability to discern subtle flavors in things. That problem has now been solved.

So far, I have enjoyed some delicious roast beef hash with egg, some tilapia, broccoli, watermelon, steak and that is just the beginning! The foods on the horizon will be both flavorful, healthy, portioned properly and will, ultimately, lead me to my goal.

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It's the little things

Sun, 23 May 2010 20:13:00 -0700

Yesterday afternoon, as I was enjoying the thunderstorm outside, I decided that I should go through my very overpacked closet and pare things down. I had been planning to do that for ages because there were many things in there that I just simply do not wear anymore. However, there were two additional things that happened that I really didn't expect.

First off, I started looking at my winter clothes and realized that I likely would never wear some of these items ever again. This was a pretty shocking thing for me. I love hooded sweatshirts and there were 5 or 6 in there that are just simply going to be too big by the time we get back to cold weather around these parts. I will admit there was a tiny twinge of sadness or whatever in seeing these things go because they had been my "fat shield" for years. (nothing like baggy clothes to make people think you aren't fat, right!) That feeling passed very quickly as I realized that I won't NEED that "fat shield" anymore. It was pretty awesome.

Second, I found several items of clothing in my closet that I had outgrown but that now fit just fine. In fact, there were 2 concert t-shirts that I had bought a few years ago from my favorite band that I never wore because they were too tight. I got them simply because they were unique and I wanted to hope that one day I would be able to wear them. That day was yesterday because I tried them on and they both fit great! To say I was happy would be a colossal understatement. Even better is the fact that I know I will be outgrowing (undergrowing?) them in a month or two as I continue to lose. It's just amazing so far. Two weeks in and I loving it!

(Also, can you get over how much room fat people clothes take in the closet?? Holy hell, I feel like I have a whole new closet available to me.)

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One Week Post-Op

Thu, 13 May 2010 20:11:00 -0700

It's amazing how easy this journey has been so far. Now, granted, I am only a week post-op and there are so many challenges ahead that I haven't experienced that it is possible that my attitude will change, but for now, I am cruising along rather nicely.

So let's get the stats out of the way:

Decision Weight (3/1/10): 420.2 lbs
Weight at booking (3/17/10): 413.4 lbs
Surgery Weight (5/7/10): 394.0 lbs
Current Weight (5/13/10): 379.6 lbs

Down 40.6 from peak.
Down 33.8 from booking.
Down 14.4 from surgery.

So, as you can see, this has been a pretty good thing thus far and I am ridiculously pleased.

I am coming to the end of the clear liquid phase and will be incorporating liquid yogurt into my diet tomorrow. Any change is good, and I am looking forward to trying something new. (Oddly, I chewed a piece of gum yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks and realized that it was the first time I had chewed something in over a week. Weird sensation.)

So where am I at now? I am still looking to the future and hope that what Dr. Ortiz said to me before doing my surgery holds true. He said that if I were to follow all the rules that it would be possible that I could lose up to 68 lbs prior to my first fill. Now, I am not a fool and that seems incredibly "pie in the sky", but man, if I can get anywhere CLOSE to that I will be over the moon!

I have been taking it sort-of easy on the exercise front this week as my incisions heal. I have walked some, but nothing crazy. However, things are starting to feel better and I am ready to start exercising more regularly. I know that this will help me in the loss column (and the "feeling awesome" column) so it HAS to be done. I will see what happens as I ramp up.

So there you go. One week in and I feel great! I am excited, I am motivated and I *am* going to succeed.

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'Twas the Night Before...

Thu, 06 May 2010 19:59:00 -0700

Here I am, 13 or so hours away from something pretty big happening. I am pretty nervous about the whole thing if I must be honest. I mean, I know everything is going to be fine and I am going to be fine, but that hasn't really quelled my trepidation about what I am about to do. Don't get me wrong, I am very comfortable with the decision but the machinations of that decision are pretty daunting! I guess I will find out just how daunting in 13 hours.

Wish me luck.

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Probably one of the last times

Sat, 10 Apr 2010 20:12:47 -0700

I went to see my parents today and of course the evening ended with us
going out to dinner. My parents are older and have very particular
tastes when it comes to food. So we ended up at the local seafood
place where the only safe choice was fried shrimp. Was this the best
option? From a diet standpoint, no. (from a please don't let me eat
something that is going to make me gag, yes.)

So basically I ate something that wasn't on my diet and I am sure it
has acted as a small bump in the road when it comes to my progress.
However, at the end of the day that is all it was... a speed bump. I
have one month left to lose about 11 more pounds and I know I am going
to succeed. Odds are good that I will go out to eat one or two more
times prior to the date looming on the calendar. I will endeavor to
make good choices, but no promises at this time.

But that time is coming and very, very soon.

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Eating out

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:18:12 -0700

It is so easy to figure out where my major dieting challenges lie.
They are the same ones that I have always had, most notably eating out
at restaurants. As someone that has been overweight all my life, I
have never really made much of an effort to "eat right" when I go out.
And really, even when I did try to make an effort I was only eating
right when compared to what I might have normally ordered. (i.e. I
would get a salad, but it would have cheese, bacon, ranch, etc.)

So it is this challenge that I am trying to overcome right now. I
want to do well, honestly, but it is amazing how difficult that can be
when it comes to trying to eat something quickly or on the go. I
suppose I will have to figure this out. I mean, I don't have a choice
so it WILL get done.

On the plus side, even eating out today, I didn't do too bad. Not
perfect by any stretch, but not terrible either. And the rest of the
day has gone well too. Thank god for popsicles!

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It's already started

Sun, 04 Apr 2010 07:40:07 -0700

As of this past Friday, I am 5 weeks away from a very serious life
moment. More on that later, though.

In the meantime, know that I have to lose about 20 pounds in that
timeframe. I have been doing some weight loss activities over the
last couple of weeks and am actually down about 7 lbs. so far. But
again, I still have about 20 to go. And once again I am battling the
diet demons. As usual, I am not the best person when it comes to
dieting. It's amazing what 37 years of fighting it like it was a
commie invasion will do. However, I need to make that the past. I
need to look to the future. I need the future to offer up something
new, something exciting, something that works.

In 5 weeks, I think that something is going to show up.

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